Prologue: In the weeks following Cassie's passing, our house became very empty and silent. Everything just seemed to remind us that she was gone. John didn't even like to come home after work. He hated that she would no longer greet him at the door or yell for a snack as soon as he came in. No after dinner gut-rubs or shoulder ride pick-ups. No more bedtime antics or morning eye-sniffing cat alarm. You see, in our home everything had revolved around Cassie. Now doing everything without her, for her or because of her was a constant reminder that she was really gone. 

I had worried that even my cat, Baby's presence would bother John, but surprisingly the two of them seemed to bond. In fact he started spoiling him rotten and even let him stay upstairs all night the first night. ("the boy" usually slept downstairs so as not to disturb Cassie during the night.) I thought it was too soon, but John insisted and of course the boy LOVED it. He sprawled across the bed like he owned it and purred himself to sleep. 

For weeks John's spirits still seemed incredibly low. I wanted to help him somehow. One day I spoke with a woman in my office building who's beloved, older cat, had been sick at the same time Cassie was and with the same problems. I had been afraid to ask her about Alfie because I didn't want to upset her. As soon as she saw me walk into her office she said, "Did you see my new kitty?" She was practically beaming. My mind sort of overrode her question and I asked about her cat that had been sick. She told me that they had decided to stop the treatments and put Alfie to sleep. And with that she placed a photo in my hand of the tiniest, most adorable, bright-eyed kitten I had ever seen. Tears nearly came to my eyes as to how perfect he was! Combined with the shock that she "replaced" Alfie so quickly, I was speechless. 

She explained that she and her husband were both so upset and depressed about losing their longtime pet and that the new kitten had really brightened up their lives and helped heal the pain of their loss. She asked how John was doing and I told her not so good. She held up the photo of the kitten and said, "Think about it." 

And I did think about it, a lot. I talked it over with a few more friends and tried to figure out what to do. Our friend, Carol, had found a great new pet, Cooper, a golden retriever, through an organization online. So I did a search of adopt+kitten+PA and found several websites with photos of immediately adoptable kittens. 

I seriously must have looked at 500 cat photos. Since I was "shopping" for a new cat I had certain criteria to keep in mind. No orange stripe cats-like the boy, no Scooter cats,(grey-striped with white face and paws) or all gray striped cats like Sissy, John's mom's cats and absolutely NO black cats like Cassie. This pretty much narrowed down my search to only a solid  white, gray or calico cat. I did find one pathetic looking calico kitten online that was at a shelter nearby, well an hour away. But then again everything is about an hour away from here.

I called and said I would stop by and see her. I left work at lunchtime and drove out to the shelter. There she was #39446. They took her out so I could hold and pet her. She was really cute, just very skinny. I walked around and visited all the other kittens, keeping in mind my color coded criteria and soon realized I had to add to that list, no bitey or scratchy kitties. Most of the kitties were wild. They were trying to claw their way out of the cages and they were yelling and swatting. It was awful. I went back to #39446 and she seemed normal enough. She let me pet her and purred. She flipped upside down in her cage and stuck her front paws out to touch my hand. No biting, no scratching, hmmmm... 

#39446 had a hold on her paperwork because her owner had not signed off on her. She had been brought in by someone's landlord and they had no idea how long she had been abandoned there. Poor Kitty! They suggested I fill out the adoption questionnaire in case the owner did decide to sign off. So I filled out the paperwork knowing full well that the owner would probably come and get their beautiful kitten as soon as possible. How could anyone just leave her there, she is so cute. 

Thinking that I didn't have a chance at all with that kitten I went to another area shelter the following day. There weren't as many kittens there and I was thankful. I hate the thought of all those animals without homes. I wandered through "the kitten room" and I seemed to connect with this one tiny kitty. I pet her for a long time through the cage door and she purred and rubbed her face up against me so hard. She never opened her mouth to bite or used her claws, again no biting, no scratching, hmmmm...

When she did open her mouth to meow, only a tiny raspy squeak came out. She made me laugh. She seemed to look right into my eyes and into my heart. Her fur was shiny and sleek. She was growing on me by the minute. But there was a problem........She was all black, just like Cassie. I knew this would be too much for John to take. I would have to think about this, even though I already knew the answer was "Don't do it." On my way out I decided to fill out their adoption paperwork so that I would be "pre-approved" upon my next visit. I didn't identify a certain kitten that I was interested in.

That evening I couldn't stop thinking about the little black kitten. When I woke up the next morning, I was still thinking about that kitten. I went for a long walk with John's mom that morning and confessed my "quest for a cat". She was thrilled. She knew that John would say he didn't want a new pet but would be thankful afterwards. Being the mother of four cats, she also suggested getting two kittens so that they could keep each other company. I told her about my fears about the black kitten pushing John over the edge and she said, "If that's the one you felt was reaching out to you, that's probably "The One".

When I got home from our walk, my friend Kim called and said that she had just been on the phone with one of the shelters who called for a reference for me. I called John's mom right away and she said there was a message on her machine when she got in and she called back to give a reference also. This was from the shelter where the black kitty was, maybe it is meant to be......? Then my cell phone rang and it was the other shelter about the calico kitten. They asked if I was still interested in her and of course I said yes! 

I later called the other shelter and told them that I would like the black kitten. I felt that the calico kitten would distract from the shock of the black kitten for John and it was all going to be just fine. I scheduled to pick both of them up the same date.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I failed to mention any of this to John?