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Mother, Wife, Best Friend
June 20th,
1996, was undoubtedly, the worst day of my life.
And to lose my
Dad
almost
one year to the day later, was almost too much to comprehend. My only solace
was to know they were together, they were no longer sick, and that they
would somehow give me the strength to go on and guide me in the right
direction, as always.
My Dad's web pages came together quickly. Perhaps because he and I had
grown so close during that last year. I knew exactly what he would want
them to say and look like. He was always amazed at my artistic and
creative talents and I know he would love what I have accomplished with
my website.
I'm sure some
of you may be wondering what took me so long to create these pages in
honor of my Mom. Almost six years to be exact. That's a long time. A long
time to miss your best friend and try to heal a broken heart. A long
time to search for exactly the right words, the right background, the
right photos and special memories to even begin to portray to others, such an
amazing woman.
Many times, I "put it off until tomorrow" because I would
begin to get upset, all the while knowing those feelings were what would
make the pages come to life.
Mom loved kaleidoscopes and all shades of blue. I found this background
a while ago, and held onto it. That was as far as I got. I started to think that maybe it couldn't
be done, nothing seemed worthy, good enough or special enough to convey
who my Mother really was. It has to be Perfect. She deserves nothing
less.
So, I've decided to give her own words a voice and share with you a card
and letter she gave to me on my graduation day, dated June 25th, 1983.
For You, Daughter
with Love and Pride
You will stand many times
at a crossroad in life
just as you're standing now,
And no one can tell you
which way to go...
or what you should do...
or how.
Yours is the choice...
may you follow your dreams
and believe in yourself
all the way --
As you journey along
with your eyes on the stars
and hope in your heart
day by day.
~katherine
keller~
Dear Vicki,
I guess this card says a lot of the things that I've been wanting to put
down on paper to you.
Some of this I am copying from other sources, but it says the things
that are in my heart much better than I can.
Mothers spend a lot of time pinning things on their daughters - first
diapers, then Girl Scout and 4-H badges, Sunday School pins and maybe
their flowers on their wedding day. (You'll probably make your own.)
They also pin their hopes and dreams on them.
I've always wanted to give you the world, but you settled for Barbies,
toy horses, animals (small, stuffed and various real) and every so often
a pair of sneakers.
In return, you've given me laughter, tears, pride, frustration, anger,
pain, joy, happiness, love beyond measure, and a million memories that
will be with me all the days of my life.
More important than any material possession I have given you over the
years are the things I have tried to teach you that will make your life
not necessarily happier or easier but definitely more satisfying and
rewarding.
They are these:
To life your life in compartments. Forget what is past. Nothing can
change it. Never anticipate the future. The present moment is all we can
really count on and be sure of. Make each new day a brand new life.
To be generous, not only with material things, but share your ideas,
your hopes, your laughter,
your tears, give of your time, your talents, your wisdom, your love. If
you only live for yourself, you'll be terribly bored. True happiness
lies in doing for others. Whatever you can send into the lives of others
will return to you a thousand fold.
To cultivate patience. Each age of your life is the best. Sometimes we
must wait for our dreams to come
true. Wait serenely, knowing what is yours, will surely come to
you.
To enjoy your successes - savor them, soar with them. But be prepared to
fail. You cannot go through life walking on the mountaintops. Sometimes
you must descend into the valleys. They can be deep and dark and
painful. Have courage. It's not what you have lost that counts but what
you have left. Go on from there.
To be devoted to the things that you feel are worthwhile, whether it is
a cause, a man, a woman, a religion, a child or an animal.
To do what you must, as long as it does not hurt people and not what
other people think you should do. This will take a great deal of
courage. You'll always find people who think they know what your duty is
better than you do. It's easy to give in to their demands but it's
impossible to live with your own conscience when you do. "To Thine
Own Self Be True."
To make and keep nourishing friendships that will add joy to your life.
Friends who hold onto you through trials and triumphs. "Kindred
spirits with whom your heart feels joyfully at home."
To have faith in the future, even though you're living in an age when
your planet could be destroyed in the twinkling of an eye. There has
never been a time when people didn't think the past was better than the
present. The truth is no time is as bad as it seems, and I believe your
generation will pass this world on to the next generation not only
intact but much better off than you found it.
To carry yourself with dignity. Knowing always that in you there is some
degree of excellence, for you were created in the image of God and have
inherited His Earth.
I think you have always known these things have been in my heart and my
love for you all these years.
Don't get discouraged. Struggle for what you really want. Only you can
do it! I only want for you whatever it is that will make you happy in
the future.
God bless you, Vicki, Class of '83
To let you know how proud I am,
and then to tell you, too,
That day by day my love and thoughts
Will always be with you.
Congratulations on your Graduation!
All my love,
Always,
Your Mom
More
Memories
of Mom
1,
2,
3
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